Gemini
by Simply Kim
Summary: What happened between them, it seemed like a mirroring, and Doumeki couldn't help feeling like he was the evil twin. He closed his eyes and sighed. 'So many books,' He murmured. 'And the only one I need has just been destroyed.'


**TITLE**: Gemini

**FANDOM**: Xxxholic

**AUTHOR**: Simply Kim

**TYPE**: One Shot

**GENRE**: Shounen Ai

**WORDS: **2,020

**DISCLAIMERS**: The series solely belongs to CLAMP. I do not get dibs on the fortune due to the four wonderful women that make up the manga-ka group.

**NOTE #1:** **Blah **or **_Blah _**is for emphasis. **_/Blah/_ **is for conversations over the phone or flashbacks (if any). _/Blah/_ is for the conscience or whatever inner voice there is talking. _Blah _is for thoughts or random Japanese words.

**NOTE #2:** This takes place after during and after the spider arc, which starts on Volume Eight of the manga series.

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**GEMINI **

* * *

If only he could forget that just this morning, his right eye was hurting so much he couldn't open it. It felt like it was going to rip if he so much as put slight pressure on it. He could still remember how it looked like on the mirror, his single functional eye gazing almost contemplatively on his altered features. 

And now, it seemed, he had the misfortune of seeing that same figure not on the mirror's reflection, but on someone he valued the most.

_How idiotic could you get?_ He wanted to say out loud, not caring who it was who would hear such harsh words. But he couldn't do it. It felt like he was telling himself off.

In his eyes, for now he could see clearly, his own features were superimposing on the other man's face. He could see himself with one dysfunctional eye.

And he hated it.

Tiredly, he looked away, and very carefully, took a piece of nigirizushi and popped it into his mouth. His stomach felt like it had been dry for thousands of years, but his appetite was waning. _How selfish could you get?_ He asked inwardly once more, his guts screaming for him to stop suffering about something he absolutely had no control over.

After all, it was the other man's choice, wasn't it?

He frowned as he chewed, aware of the awkward situation he was in, sitting across the one he had been secretly agonising over. He could feel the glare being directed at him as he chewed some more... and inwardly, he counted the minutes to which he knew the other would start spewing out his usual litanies.

"What, you don't like my food?" Came the scathing response to his deadened motions.

_No. I just don't want to see you like this._ He thought, obediently it seemed, reaching out to take another piece of sushi. "No. I'm just tired." He said truthfully instead, watching with keen interest as a barrage of complaints issued forth from the other man's mouth.

"**_Tired_**?" Watanuki Kimihiro asked, throwing up his hands and shrieking like a girl. "Stupid Doumeki! You are such a baby – **_I_** was the one who slaved over the hot stove just making your bento, and you're complaining that you're too tired to enjoy everything I made?!"

_It's not that I don't like it._ Doumeki Shizuka responded inwardly, giving Watanuki his patented bored look. _But the company... seeing you like this makes me feel..._ "Yes." He replied simply. "I'm tired. You don't need to know why." He added for good measure, munching on his second sushi piece.

On and on, Watanuki's words went, the stream of incorrigible words entering one ear and going out through the other. It was insane, he knew, but he couldn't help staring at that covered eye – the one that started all of these emotions roiling deep inside him. However, the most prominent of all was the feeling of anxiety over the knowledge that the situation between them seemed like mirroring.

And he felt like the evil twin.

Doumeki closed his eyes and concentrated more on his food rather than Watanuki's unseeing eye. Strengthening his resolve, he took the entire box and started wolfing down its contents. Anything... just to shut the other man up.

Though the litanies kept on lengthening, at least, he was focused on something else.

This way, even the guilt didn't have the power to crack open his soul.

**OxxxOxxxO**

Doumeki had been poring over his grandfather's books when the object of his frustration popped unannounced.

After their unfortunate discussion this morning, it seemed Watanuki had taken pity and decided to visit. Oh joy.

There was nervousness sticking deep in his gut but he pushed it away. It wouldn't do anything good at all if he started to stay away from him now. Besides, if things got to sentimental, how productive could it be?

With a small sigh, he gave up and just gazed at him thoughtfully.

"If your work is done, you should go home." He retorted, only to be taken aback as a huge paper bag was thrust to his face. He blinked... and blinked some more as warmth flooded his insides. He could practically **_smell_** what was inside the bag.

It seemed the most spastic individual on the face of the earth cooked up some stuff for him.

With deliberate motion, he accepted the bag and let his eyes glue on the wrapped boxes inside. He couldn't help feeling a bit elated. If this were any other situation... or at least, a very normal day, he would have grinned in self-satisfaction. But it wasn't. There was something inside him that burst open, and inwardly, he battled with it, him winning only because of the continuous stream of litanies spouting from Watanuki's mouth.

"_Baka_." He muttered, taking a step back in anticipation of the other's loud comeback, which, as predicted, materialised. Doumeki could practically see Watanuki's tonsils when he went all huffy and loud and brash on him.

"What was that, you jerk?" The bespectacled boy screamed.

"If you're so energetic, then you're fine." He retorted, the anxiety falling away as if slowly stabilising into very normal levels.

"Eh?"

Doumeki motioned towards the books he was formerly poring over. "Those books are all on secret techniques and items." He continued in his usual monotone. "But you feel nothing, right?" Apparently, his guess and what Yuuko, the shop-owner whom Watanuki works for, were correct. There was nothing anomalous in the library after all.

He could hear Watanuki yelling something repulsive towards him again, but he tuned it out as his eyes scanned over the spines of the endless array of bound documents. "I guess my grandfather didn't bring anything bad here after all." He murmured. There was tense silence, and the hair on the back of his neck stood to attention. _But there's something amiss._ He thought, the anxiety that was formerly gone was coming back full force. _And Watanuki's silence means I'm right. If I can sense it as well, then he would feel it ten times over._

But nothing seemed out of place in his opinion, so he had better wait for whatever it was bothering the both of them. It could be anything – or nothing at all, just a passing chill wind. He blinked, willing the negative feelings to deflate in his gut.

And he had to break the tension as well.

He opened one of the lacquered bento boxes and took the porcelain chopsticks, turning back to his companion and giving him his most nonchalant gaze – something he knew that would infuriate him the most.

"You didn't bring tea?"

"And you're already eating? NO, I didn't bring tea – besides, this is your home, **_you_** should bring the tea!"

**OxxxOxxxO**

He could still feel the anger thrumming deep inside Watanuki's veins. For some strange reason, he could feel what he was feeling. The anger over something so trivial... and the worry he could see reflected in his eyes as he studied the books scattered everywhere.

He really felt like he was part of him.

And a section of his emotions wondered how it would be if that was truly the case.

But then, would it be worth it?

"So, you're doing research..." Came the expected question.

"Hmm?"

"On how to get my eye back to normal." Watanuki answered him almost inaudibly. "... I'm fine the way I am."

The anxiety was there again, and it burned even more than usual.

"But I'm not fine with it." He retorted, steel in his voice. There was momentary silence before Doumeki finally decided he had enough of this emotional roller coaster for the night. "You better head home." He said in a softer tone. " Nighttime is when spirits come out the most, right?"

But when he heard the loud thud, he knew he had been had.

"You're doing this without asking, right? So it should be no problem if I do research without asking too. Why, got a problem with that?"

A small wry smile stole into his face before schooling it back into its usual bland expression. With a sharp intake of calming breath, he realised it would be wise to bear with it for now. Turning towards him, Doumeki raised a brow and commented upon seeing the title of the book Watanuki was digging into.

"I've already looked through that one." He said, pointing to the other stack of books lying about. "Go look through the ones over there."

"Stop acting so high and mighty!"

**OxxxOxxxO**

There it was.

The most precious book in the whole world.

Who knew his grandfather would write something about a future occurrence so accurately as if he lived yesterday?

But it was useless now.

Silently, he closed the door upon Yuuko and Watanuki's departure. Closing his eyes, he leant back against it and took a deep calming breath. _That book. Himawari's book._ He thought, anger coursing through his veins. He had noticed it many times before. Anyone who associated with that girl ended up mired in bad luck. It may be just pure coincidence, but now that he had been seeing it first hand, there was no doubt about it.

What his grandfather said in last night's dream was right.

_There is no such thing as a coincidence..._

Opening his eyes, he straightened up and moved forward, straight to the table where his most terrible nightmare originated. And gingerly, he lifted the book. He didn't remember asking her for this anyway. He just nodded when she told him she wanted to lend him something that might help him with his 'research'. _Only the inevitable._

"Ch'." He berated himself inwardly and threw the book away. "All that work for nothing."

With newfound depression, he sank to his knees and stared at the mountain of books before him.

"So many..." He murmured bitterly. "And the only one I need was just destroyed."

**OxxxOxxxO**

He was not stupid.

Nor was he a masochist.

He knew when it was time to quit.

"Are you sure, Doumeki-kun?"

With a level gaze directed at the one who could fulfil his wish, he nodded. Touching his right eye before he stood up.

"Yes."

Watching for the last time with unimpaired vision as Yuuko raised her hand, he was amazed that he remained calm. After all, this was a far lesser price to pay for the happiness of the most important figure in his life.

"This is going to hurt."

Steeling himself for what was to come, his hands balled into fists and his whole body stiffened in anticipation.

It was a flash of hot, searing, unbearable pain...

And it was done with.

**OxxxOxxxO**

There was pure gratification in his part as he took notice of the steady motions Watanuki was now capable of. Warmth flooded him once more and he couldn't help admiring the after-effects of his handiwork.

Apparently, he could now see with his right eye.

A touch of a frown centred on his forehead as Himawari joined him. Now he was back to his usual fan boy self, it seemed. A wave of unease threatened to overcome his good mood. _How could he not notice?_ He thought in frustration, following their exchange and the beautiful sound of laughter that came with it.

Standing up, he made his way to the classroom door, and soon enough, he bumped into a table. The edge bit his skin underneath the pants he wore. He knew that he would end up black and blue and would probably use up most of the salve in their medicine cabinet for the bruising he was going to take until he got used to his situation.

As he went through the doorway, he raised a hand and touched the affected eye. He could still see through it, but this eye's vision was only half of what it used to be. He gave the other half to Watanuki.

It would be hard earning another championship for the archery club...

He smiled a little, before he let his hand drop back to his side.

_But it's all worth it. _

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**OWARI**

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A/N: This is my first Xxxholic fanfic. Hope you enjoyed reading this one-shot, and comments are greatly appreciated. 


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